cat haiku – from Fark

awesome Fark thread (totalFark – sub$cription needed)

CAT HAIKU   –  by or inspired by cats

You cuddle with me
under the blankets at night
but you claw my nuts

A cat without lips,
As strange as it might strike you,
Can still wear lipstick.

Reclining kitten
eyes half closed and purring loud
Look at you stretching.

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

There's no dignity
In being sick – which is why
I don't tell you where.

I have a fur ball
It tastes like rancid tuna
lipstick on my ass

Black and white kitten
running across my backyard
Honey, bring the BB gun

[ed.:  eewww]

I like the pussy
He stares at me forever
The pussy hates me

Let me show you my
pokemons. MY POKEMONS.
Let me show you them.

Rotund white kitty
Jumped on table and broke it
No more chow for you.

/true story. she's a tub.

Black and white kitty
Goes all Ninja on ankles
Was cute the first time…

I am eating chips
My cat sees me and wants some
I always give in

otis the cute kitty
his cat food costs a whole lot
his royal orangeness.

Bob hates his new food
He'd rather eat the dog's food
Well, back to the store.

Why do you follow
It's just a place I go pee
You're scared of the flush

my bleeding asshole
kitty found my ass living frog
oh my ass, poor frog

Tall white hairless ape
Making strange sounds while you give me
The food I deserve

The can opener
Sings its sweet song of smelly
Fish and goo and stench.

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3 thoughts on “cat haiku – from Fark

  1. Very neat. Not Haiku but here goes a quick poem:
    Cat Haiku
    So perfect for you
    As cat lovers go
    Little Miao's in the know

    We are so pleased we have our new little girl. She has brought new joy into our home. All the dogs and cats know she is just a baby so they all baby her. They tolerate from her what they would not tolerate from each other. So wonderful having this little black fluffball. Cute has a special place. She eats everything. She ate part of a peach, drinks iced tea. Loves all the usual cat stuff too. She is getting larger than her sisters already. Or are they Aunties. They are so tiny and little Zola is growing and has very large pads. She will be like our Dexter who was 33 pounds and 20 years old when he died. He was also solid black with amber eyes. We both see so much of him in her personality. She will be indoor/outdoor. Millie and Lolo are only indoor. Zola loves playing with the dogs outside.

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