to my # 1 (and #1 in the Stalker contest)

you can call me sweetheart I can call you WooWee Iluminada Darling Doll
that's if you can talk
while I  feed you bite after bite of the world's best donuts
which I know you'll love
almost as much as you've come to love
BBQ, potato salad, coleslaw, and other calorie-laden
treats from flyover country

stay and I'll massage your tired shoulders
tired from the long flight
to the beach resort where we'll spend
the rest of our days


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13 thoughts on “to my # 1 (and #1 in the Stalker contest)

  1. Ah! I get the problem here. This isn't creepy or pathetic – it's really rather sweet! What kind of stalker are you?? ;-P

  2. Gotta agree with IG. It's not very stalkerish. Oh, well, you're in good company. Mr. IG declared that I "didn't stand a chance." Not that I'm bitter.

  3. obviously I'm pathetic.[cries]I didn't read the other entries before I wrote mine 'cos I didn't want to be influenced by them. but now I have, and realize how unworthy my entry I get a do-over? I can try to make it creepier…

  4. i guess i'm in the minority here, but i think sweet stalker letters are… sweet. maybe that's why i can't write a stalker letter myself.

  5. I don't know – I thought the if you can talk part was kind of creepy. Even if it was followed by having donuts stuffed in your mouth. Which is also kind of creepy.Mariser, I give you two ews! up – the colors are purty too :)

  6. note she also "neglected" to mention just how long "the rest of our days" really are….(cue dramatic music)
    It can be creepy and stalkerish if you enter the mindset of teh stalker. They don't always have that great of a grip on reality. Phrases like "beach resort" could me desert to them. And the local donut shop is a nice touch. Shows the "I know where you live" kinda thing.
    sometimes it isn't what is actually said that is scary, its what is left unsaid…

  7. Very good points. And I agree with Lauri…that "if you can talk" line hanging there is surprisingly ominous!

  8. Are they REALLY the world's best donuts?? Better than Krispy Kreme??? I had a Krispy Kreme with a DRIVE THRU less than a mile from my apartment in California. This was BEFORE the weight loss…heh heh. It was a very dangerous place for me.And I agree….this isn't really stalkerish, just nice.

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