But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it -English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people
recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They’re totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They’re moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats
a witty approach to a serious problem. according to the article it seems to be helping.
edit: from the Michigan Humane Society CATFAX page:
MHS CPO CATS
Features & Specs:
- All makes and models
- Standard 4-paw drive
- Standard FREE microchip
- 100,000 purr warranty
- Made in Michigan
- Better than new!
- Spay/neuter surgery
- Age-appropriate vaccinations
- Medical check-up
- Behavioral evaluation
- General grooming
- Nail trim
it's been a difficult summer for several of my dear peeps who had to/are struggling with the failing health of a beloved pet. while it offers no guidelines or solutions, I wish I had come across and shared this Jon Katz's article before.
Katz is one of my favorite writers. he writes about the human-animal bond like no one else.
Researching my last book, I visited an emergency-care clinic that had six dogs on respirators at a cost of nearly a $1,000 per week per dog. Their owners, the vets said, simply could not bear to lose them.